The Hungry Games: Gauntlet of Desire

Four weeks out from competition day, my life has become a series of Hungry Games: “The Gauntlet of Desire,” “None For Me,” “Dirty Refeeds–A Glimpse of Heaven,” etc. Long story short, I’m hungry. All day, most of the night. Thinking-about-food-every-waking-minute hungry. I go to bed fantasizing about what I’d most like to eat for breakfast (though I […]

Bad Yellow

Heat Wave Cardio: Tasting Yellow

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was check the weather app on my cell phone. 6:23 a.m. and 90 degrees. In the context of a heat wave in Las Vegas, that constitutes suitable weather for outdoor cardio. I threw on my gear, drank a bottle of water, strapped on the […]

Diet Brain Is Real and It Is Not Pretty

This morning I went to grab a can of cat food from the pantry and found that I’d been putting lidded half-empty cans–among other items (a spatula, two forks)–back on the shelf instead of in the fridge. If mold were a salable commodity, I could finance my competition spray tan. A few days ago, I left […]

Stripper Heels and Questionable Life Choices

Fun fact about me: I HATE wearing a bathing suit. The very thought makes my back sweaty with dread. So, I guess it makes perfect sense that I’ve decided to step onstage–in LAS VEGAS, no less–this August, in 5″ stripper heels and a Bedazzled string bikini to have my a$$ets judged, individually and in comparison, […]

Running the Bend

“Running the Bend” has a double meaning for me. The Esopus Bend, in my home state of New York, is, and probably always will be, my favorite running trail. I love its obscurity; the trail twists sharply throughout its length, keeping steep inclines and declines out of sight until just before you hit them. The best […]

Fear Not

If you’re anything like me, this week you’ll be considering and setting goals for the new year. Generally speaking, I don’t make “resolutions”; I make plans. For example, in previous years, I aspired to: Read a book a week for the year (done) Write a novel (done) Become a pastry chef (done) Read all the way through […]